Q: How can I tell if I am falling in love with my partner?
A:
Are you thinking about him/her most of the day, everyday?
Does your heart beat a little bit faster when you see them? Do your palms get sweaty?
Does time fly by when you are with them?
Do you enjoy being with them more often than not, and would rather spend time together than with other people?
This feeling is awesome, am I right? It is transcendent, powerful, and the reason why we can resonate with all of the love songs on the radio. “Oooohhh, this makes sense!” we finally say with a smile on our faces. And it is good. It is really, really, good.
It is also temporary and hormone-driven.
My hope is that you would both enjoy and steward your heightened attraction state in a healthy manner. How?
Call for backup: Keep people around that are able to celebrate you and offer you truth when you need to hear it (because it’s hard to hear very much outside of the love songs playing constantly in the background of your mind).
Remember all of you: Sometimes the excitement can get too powerful and consume every area of our lives. Pretty soon, we’re happy newlyweds - but we look around and there are no friends or hobbies in our new life. We forgot to continue watering and investing in those areas. Control the excitement’s impact on your life by keeping in mind the other things that were (and are still) important to you: friendships, family, career goals, hobbies. If you need to set up boundaries (i.e. Fridays are specifically for friends - not for date nights or hanging out with your significant other), then do so! It’s healthy and good and frees you to enjoy your time together.