Ideally, initiation shouldn't make you feel annoyed, anxious or turned-off. That being said, this is a common phenomenon that women will describe when beginning the conversation in sex therapy. If I were to oversimplify it, I'd say that there are three roots to this issue: (1) initiation style, and (2) the overall emotional connection of the relationship, and (3) the receiver's relationship with her own sexuality.

If your wife feels that she needs to help you handle your emotions and temper tantrums (you know, like when you pout or withdraw or get irritable when it has been too long since you last had sex), then she won't feel that she is your lover; she will feel that she is a mom parenting a child. This is obviously not what you want. Sure, she may still have sex with you - but her motivation will be to appease your mood, not to actually connect and enjoy your time together.