Expect your emotions to fluctuate hour-by-hour. In the initial weeks or months after discovery of your partner's affair, I encourage you to treat yourself as if you had the flu. When we are physically sick, we are more likely to understand our limits, nourish ourselves, and get lots of rest. That's what you need. Your heart has gone through an immense shock of betrayal, and your entire system is feeling ill.

Some days, you'll feel an extreme sense of confidence, sure that you can leave and completely start over without him. On other days, you'll feel a frightening sense of vulnerability. One hour, you'll feel anger and sadness - and just an hour later, you may feel numb, empty, hollow. Your mind and heart have just gone through a terrible trauma. Emotional trauma. Your sense of trust has been ripped from under you. The emotional rollercoaster is a normal effect of betrayal trauma

This is a very sensitive issue. For the men and women who have been betrayed through infidelity - I encourage you to scroll past this...

Couples may be discouraged when beginning couples therapy, but progress shows up as small change over time

After an affair, remember to treat yourself with kindness and tenderness - much like you would for a child who is experiencing great pain.

You know the reasons that you have arrived here. A hopeful start of relationship has, over the time, morphed into the question: "should...