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My Sex Drive Was Higher Before We Got Married; What's Going On?
If you felt a lightbulb moment when you saw the title of this blog, it is quite likely that you are the responsive desire spouse; meaning your sex drive typically comes alive after being given a compelling reason to show up. But the question remains: if you are someone with responsive desire, why was your sex drive so much higher when you were dating or engaged, but decreased after saying "I do?"
18 minutes ago4 min read


What We Can Learn about Seasoned Marriages from the Japanese Philosophy of Wabi-Sabi
Wabi-sabi is a Japanese philosophy (and interior design style) that combines わび (wabi), the attitude of seeking beauty and inner contentment in simplicity and imperfection - with さび (sabi), the attitude of seeking beauty in physical things that are withered by time. Marriage itself seems to reflect elements of wabi-sabi.
Apr 234 min read


My Spouse Had an Affair; Why Do I Still Love Them?
After an affair, remember to treat yourself with kindness and tenderness - much like you would for a child who is experiencing great pain.
Nov 12, 20245 min read


What if I Don't Want to Initiate Sex?
In sex therapy, it is common to have partners with mismatched libido - meaning, there is a gap between the couple's natural sex drives....
Jun 7, 20244 min read


10 Ways to Stop Routine from Destroying Your Sex Life
Here's the thing: keeping sexual desire ignited with a long-term partner is different than sex with a stranger.
Apr 19, 20248 min read


My Intimacy Therapist Podcast Episode 74 - Are You Avoiding Sex with Your Spouse?
Show transcript from the My Intimacy Therapist Podcast - Episode 74. Listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. 0:04 Welcome to...
Dec 30, 20236 min read


Should We Consider a Separation?
You know the reasons that you have arrived here. A hopeful start of relationship has, over the time, morphed into the question: "should...
Sep 21, 20236 min read


Podcast Episode 40 - Why Do I Have to Initiate Everything in My Relationship?
Show transcript from the My Intimacy Therapist Podcast - Episode 40. Listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. 0 : 04 Welcome...
Feb 22, 20227 min read


Expect Yourself to Change in Your Marriage
Be reborn, sister. Allow yourself to evolve and transform, like Mother Earth herself. The expectation of marriage is that we meet a...
May 4, 20213 min read


A Rant on Social Media and Intimacy
We pick up our phones subconsciously and scroll... all the while, forgetting to roll over and give attention to our partner...
Mar 31, 20213 min read


Keeping the Love Alive Long-Distance
Hint: creativity saves relationships!
Jun 28, 20203 min read


Why Self-Care is Needed for Black and Interracial Couples
There is miraculous, divine healing power in relationships. Let yours be a fortress, refuge, and everlasting fountain.
Jun 1, 20204 min read


How to 100% Guarantee that Your Partner Will Shut Down
Here's your fool-proof guide to shutting your partner down and getting you back to your comfy, familiar cycle. Guaranteed.
Apr 5, 20204 min read


Why Intimacy Needs Space - Internally
Why do you need more mental space for intimacy to be possible? And how do you do it?
Mar 31, 20203 min read


The Power of Non-Sexual Touch
Social-isolation may mean that you are home with a partner, inviting you to confront your pre-existing intimacy issues. Here's how to do it.
Mar 25, 20202 min read


For Guys Who Like Intimacy (but for some reason, she doesn't)
Guys, Can we talk for a second? Look. She doesn't understand why you get so upset when she isn't interested in sex. She...
Mar 22, 20203 min read


My Heart Hurts and I Don't Know What to Do
Don't be afraid of your heart's longings, friend. Because you'll feel it. It's there, like a low hum. It's meant to be there. Let it stay.
Mar 21, 20202 min read


What If a Miracle Happened in Your Relationship?
If you woke up in the morning and a miracle happened, the problem was gone.... what would the day look like?
Mar 21, 20204 min read


Why You Should Find Respect for Your Man
What do you respect about him? What do you see that makes you think, "Wow, he is resilient." Or that he's quick-witted, loyal, persistent...
Mar 19, 20201 min read


Journeying Through Infertility
Facing infertility? Read the perspective of a woman who sees and has experienced the struggle.
Jun 20, 201911 min read
Avoidance keeps you stuck.
Repeating unhelpful strategies keeps you stuck.
In sex therapy, we will create a plan to
make intimacy organic and enjoyable.
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