For some couples, your relationship is accustomed to long periods of time apart. Whether you are in the dating phase, a long-distance relationship, active deployment, traveling for work, visiting family members in another state, or any other number of circumstances -- being physically apart can take a toll on your relationship.
The solution? Creativity.
Being in different spaces is a unique facet of your relationship, but that doesn't have to mean that you miss out on all of the lovin'! Instead, we adjust expectations and get creative about the "how" of spending time together. Try these ideas out!
Ideas for Connection Across Space
(1) Rhythm of Love
Create a playlist of songs that represent how you feel about your partner. Swap playlists! As you miss one another, you can express your feelings by telling them to refer to a specific song. "Hey, babe, song #6 reminds me of you right now."
(2) Feels Like Home
Swap articles of clothing that still have each other's scent lingering in the fabric. Whenever you miss your partner, cuddle up to the blanket and let them know you're thinking of them! Feels like home...
(3) Bear Hug
If you are near family, friends, roommates, or pets, increase your physical touch with them. It isn't the same as your partner's but it will satiate some of your touch hunger
(4) Wrapped in Love
A weighted blanket can calm your nervous system and simulate the snug embrace of your partner
During your visits together, engage in lots of touch! Not just sexually, but also the subtle intimate moments of holding hands, caressing their hair, or sitting with your legs overlapped
(6) Feeling the Love
Have actual virtual date nights. Not just an impromptu phone or video call. Set a date and time. Decide on a theme (pajama party, classy dinner, movie date, walks, workouts), get dressed accordingly, and set up the date in your home as if you were out together
(7) Building Anticipation
Limit texting. For some couples, texting throughout the day is common, but if you switch it up by taking a day off and reconnecting through a planned virtual date the next day, it can actually increase positive anticipation and effect of spending time with your partner
(8) Written in Words
Send a letter (yes, a literal pen-and-paper letter) that encourages your partner. Or, if you'd like to be a little saucy, send a note of all the fun, sexy times you'll have when you meet again
(9) Now You're Speaking My Language
Learn a language together and practice during your next conversation! Let's see who is taking the Duolingo owl seriously... ;)
(10) Stronger Together
Invest in online counseling together. The sweet thing about technology is that you can be in different homes, but your provider can still guide you through your relationship's growth areas! When asking your therapist if they provide online counseling (also called "telehealth"), make sure to let them know what state you are in. If you are all in the same state, you're good to go!
And the plot twist:
Pursue your own hobbies! I know you've heard it before, but having a sense of identity outside of your partner is necessary if you want to (a) keep the relationship fresh, and (b) avoid the cycle of anxiety, jealousy, and insecurity.
Interdependence is the healthy balance where both partners are intrinsically-whole and intentionally-devoted. You are both able to give and receive love. You are emotionally available, as evidenced by your ability to allow your partner to be him or herself without attempting to morph them into your ideal of a person.
So, long-distance lovers. Get creative and stay connected until you meet again!
Hey, luv! I'm Sadé!
I create online intimacy courses for ladies who feel uncomfortable asking questions, or want to experience intimacy guidance within the privacy of their own home.
I'd love to chat with you directly and see how I can serve you.