Free Childcare Ideas for Date Nights in Atlanta
- Sade Jovanne
- Jan 30
- 6 min read
Hey there,
I'm Sadé (shah-day). I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia and a certified sex therapist through the American Board of Christian Sex Therapy. I specialize in addressing the intimacy issues that keep couples avoidant and distant. If you are looking to understand your breakdowns in intimacy and make lasting change, you're in the right place.
Let's dive in....
Childcare can be a barrier to a successful date night for couples with young children. You can hire a babysitter - but this requires factoring in at least 3 hours between traffic, a meal, and the return trip home. Asking friends and family can be free, but may come with a sense of guilt for burdening others. After considering the stress of attempting to secure childcare, many couples choose to forego the date night altogether.
The thing is, your romantic relationship can drift when it isn't being given the attention it deserves. You and your spouse may be absolutely crushing it in the parenting arena, but if you are becoming strangers romantically, you may notice more arguments, more frustration, and less connection overall. Without course correction, it's only a matter of time before you feel more like "roommates" or "co-parents" rather than intimate lovers.
But wait! This outcome is not written in stone. As a couples and sex therapist in Atlanta, GA, I am very passionate about working with couples to design a life that supports connection and intimacy - with all variables and barriers taken into consideration. Afterall, you don't want to wait until the kids are moving into their college dorm before you revitalize your love life, right?
Right. Let's explore some options.
The Village - A Trusted Option for Free Childcare
If you have been blessed enough to have a community of close, trusted friends (or family members), the "village" method may work for you - especially if the other friends also have children.
In the "village" method, you and the other couples in your group of friends would set up a rotating schedule for taking care of the kids vs. going out on a childfree date night. On one evening, you'd watch their kiddos - and on another evening, they would reciprocate the favor.
Sure, it may make for a very...energetic... Friday night when it's your turn to keep an eye on the crew, but it also creates a sense of mutual exchange that can alleviate feelings of guilt that could otherwise accompany the request for free babysitting.
What if We Don't Have Friends with Kids?
You may be the first in your friend group to have children, or you may be surrounded by single and/or childfree friends. In this case, your friend would not be in need of reciprocated free childcare. If asking a friend or family member who is single and/or doesn't have children, be considerate by offering another service that may be of value to them. This could be a gas card, a gift card for a meal at their favorite restaurant, an offer to cut their lawn or do another tedious home task, or something else that would make them feel deeply appreciated. You know your people; what would benefit their life as much as a free night would benefit yours?
An Evening Date at Home
For logistic or financial reasons, leaving the house for a date may not always be the best option. In this case, a date at home may be a worthwhile idea to consider! Let's break this down by the age of your child(ren), as needs may vary.
Ages 6 and Up
Set up an in-home experience for your child(ren) that they'll truly look forward to. This may be a movie night (complete with blanket fort, popcorn and their favorite candies), a night of video games, or whatever else they're into. In the week or two leading up to the event, make a big deal about hyping up their special night. Get them excited! And, to accentuate the unique aspect of this experience, consider ways that this can be different from their nightly routine. For example, if they are not usually allowed to watch TV for 3 hours, this may be a special exception.
When the night arrives, your kids will get to enjoy a fun dinner alongside their pre-selected entertainment options. You may give them a walkie talkie (or use cell phones, if they have one) to communicate with you if they need anything; but the expectation will be that they won't enter your area of the home or apartment during this designated time.
You may opt to stay in your bedroom while they have free reign of the rest of the space - or prepare them to keep to the bedroom/their bathroom while you set up camp in the living room. If you are working with more square footage, an upstairs/downstairs arrangement may also work out.
The main idea here is that this is a special night for you and for them.
Ages 5 and Under
If your children are too young to be left in a room without a watchful eye, you'll likely be too distracted to fully enjoy your time together. With this age group, a midday date (see below) or the "village method" (see above) may be more successful options. However, if you're up for a late-night rendezvous, consider a midnight/early morning snack or bath together while the kids are asleep.
For those who are naturally night owls, staying up until 1am or 2am may be an easy feat. You can snuggle up, watch a movie in bed, and pull out all of your favorite snacks (you know, the ones that are not to be shared with the kids). Sure, you'll be a bit tired - but you'll be able to enjoy a more relaxed, low-energy state with your spouse without the added duty of parenting.
If you are not a night owl, consider waking up an hour or two earlier than your children (this may work best on a weekend when you are not having to get ready for work). Spend lazy time in bed being close and have conversations about anything other than your adult responsibilities. You may even enjoy an early morning shower or stretching session together.
What if We Co-Sleep with Our Children?
For couples co-sleeping with their young children, time alone in your bedroom may not be an option. Prepare another room in the house in advance so that you can sneak away - whether it be at midnight or early in the morning. This may mean a quiet breakfast in the kitchen, on the porch, or even in another bedroom of the house if you have one. Once again, sound machines may be able to help dampen some of the noise. You may also want to leave a warm blanket or pillow in the bed next to the kids so that they don't awaken due to feeling your absence.
A Mid-Day Date
Think outside of the box! If possible, arrange your schedules so that you and your spouse have either a half-day or a full day off during school hours. This way, you can have the entire house to yourself (or wherever; the world is your oyster!) while your children are being cared for at school or in daycare.
This format works best for those with non-traditional working hours, flexible schedules, or PTO that they're willing to use for undivided one-on-one time.
Don't Give Up; You Deserve Some Time for Intimacy!
If you walk away with anything, I hope that you know that you deserve alone time together to reconnect as a couple. Life is 10x busier when navigating work, home, and parenting responsibilities - and you may have gotten into a routine that doesn't include caring for your relationship.
While you may not have the same time or energy resources as you did before, it is still possible to get creative in order to spend time together. Consider which of the options above work best for you (or come up with some of your own!) and talk with your spouse about scheduling the next day and time that you can set the plan in action.
If you hit a snag, don't eject from the mission! Take any snags as a learning opportunity; adapt and try again.
Limited childcare does not have to stop you from enjoying your relationship.
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