Q: I need therapy to work on sexual issues, but I'm either single, abstinent, or not ready to invite my spouse to join me in therapy. Is it possible to start sex therapy by myself? A: Yes, it is common for women to begin the work of sex therapy and invite their significant others to join later in the process if needed.

Your interest in sexual activity - whether it be intercourse, oral, or any other type of sexual exploration - is called your libido (or sex drive). In a major way, your baseline libido is fueled by hormones; but your libido is also influenced by relational and contextual factors. In order to assess the possible roots for your low libido, start by taking inventory of the symptoms you have been experiencing, for how long, and how often.

Over time, this creates a gap. The Spontaneous Drive spouse gets tired of always initiating, and always being rejected. They may get to a place where they decide not to initiate at all - just to see if their spouse will ever pick up the mantle to initiate interest. Conversely, the Responsive Drive spouse may be glad for the break - or not even notice. Still, the Responsive Drive spouse may crave closeness, affection and connection, and will be hurt by their spouse's physical

Here's the thing about low libido: If you were on your own, you wouldn't necessarily notice that you had a low sex drive. But, when you are in a relationship and your spouse is craving closeness, the frustration starts to creep in. They are frustrated with you for the constant rejection, you are frustrated with them for not taking the hint and giving you some space, and you are frustrated with yourself for not being able to control sexual desire in your own body.