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Crazy Things I Tell My Clients...

Photo by Natasha Brazil on Unsplash

Look, therapy can be intense sometimes. Some days it is light, fun, and laughter abounds. Other days, you're in the middle of immense pain and can't see a way out. There are ups and downs, but I don't believe that any moment has to be purely painful.

So my clients know to expect a bit of absurdity every now and then. I am an extremely visual and abstract thinker, so in the midst of explaining complex therapeutic theories and patterns, I might need to digress from boring words like "attachment theory" and "marital schism."

So, I use metaphors. Example - have you seen Avengers: Infinity War? (Of course you have. You're a human being who enjoys fine art). Well, then, your relationship may be like the scene where Thor visits Nidavellir and attempts to reignite the star, but because it has been frigid for so long, it requires him risking his life and infusing mass amounts of energy to get it started again. Such is a relationship that has slowed to a halt. Therapy will be hard and taxing, but at the end of the day, you get Stormbreaker. What fun!

Or, let's talk about sex. While I am quite comfortable getting clinical and specific about anatomical terms, I know that most of my clients are not. It can be cringe-worthy, giggle-inducing, or enough to shut down an entire conversation. So let's get creative! Perhaps you want to explain to your special man exactly how you feel about oral sex (for better, for worse, or for in-between)...but you two have never verbalized this area of your life before. We can compare your desire to enjoying a delicious strawberry, or the correct technique to utilize a light saber. Whatever floats your boat!

Language empowers your experience. I promise I'm not crazy - tweaking language, in whatever form fits best, is a deliberate way to change how you grasp difficult situations.

Sometimes, if you've been making the same sauce over and over again, you need to experiment with adding a little extra salt - or perhaps some cilantro. We can do that with the way you talk about your problems.

Try something new.


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