Which is Better for Us: Sex Therapy or Couples Therapy?

You need therapy. That part is evident. You are having frequent disagreements around the same topics, and it is starting to create a divide in your relationship.

But what type of therapy is best for your situation? How do you know if you would benefit more from couples therapy, or a more specialized approach like sex therapy?

Before sending out mass emails to any couples therapist you can find in Atlanta, GA, start by considering the following factors:

Not all Couples Therapists Are Trained in Sex Therapy

Think of it like this: psychotherapy is the broadest umbrella of therapy. Within this, couples therapy is a specialization where therapists are trained to manage the complex dynamics of a relationship. Sex therapy is a specialization within the specialization of couples therapy.

Sex therapists are considered specialized because of the combination of our education (certifications, continuing education courses, etc.) and our scope of practice (the clients we see on a daily basis). While general therapists may see children, adolescents, individuals and also couples, specialized therapists, however, may niche down so that expertise and training funnels to a select few issues. Even within the field of sex therapy, the specialization can go even further to specific sexual issues.

In my case, my practice is focuses on intimacy issues related to vaginismus (pain during sex), low libido, or betrayal/affair recovery for Millennial and Gen X couples. Because I spend the majority of my time focusing on these concerns, I am more likely to understand how to approach the uniqueness of your specific story - and will also know how to find additional resources to support your goals.

A couples therapist who may see only 1 or 2 cases for sexual issues would not have the depth of understanding around the topic - just as I would not be the best fit for a family looking for child play therapy.

Will You Need to Discuss Sexual Intimacy Issues at Any Point in the Process?

Maybe you are having trouble getting turned on because you don't feel emotionally safe with your spouse. Maybe you have been trying to conceive, and the pressure is manifesting as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Maybe your relationship had high sexual frequency in the beginning, but this has now tapered off and you disagree with your spouse on the source of the issue.

In cases like these, sex therapy would be the better avenue to pursue, because it will allow you to simultaneously address relationship and sexual issues. However, if you are only concerned about a recent fight with your in-laws or disagreements in parenting - but overall your sexual and emotional connection is great - then you would likely be able to receive the support you need from a general couples therapist.

Do You Have a Major Life Transition Approaching That May Impact Romance and Intimacy?

The following transitions may signal that now is a good time to proactively consider sex therapy:

• Getting married after an extended season of sexual abstinence

• Trying to have a baby or just learned you are pregnant

• Recently gave birth or adopted

• Young children ages 2 - 8

• Going to become empty nesters within the next 2 years

• Recently diagnosed with a women's health or reproductive issue

• Going to be long-distance for 3 months or more

• Accepting a job on nightshift schedule

• Loss of a close family member

• Family member moving in with you and your spouse

• Job loss or financial stress

• Relocating

• Starting graduate school

  
  

In each of the above scenarios, your physical and emotional energy will be compromised - not to mention time available for connection. In sex therapy, we will talk through the multiple layers affecting your intimate desire, including logistics, stressors, and mental health concerns like depressive episodes or anxiety disorders.

Getting Started with Sex Therapy

In sex therapy, you will receive the reassurance of getting to address the concerns that you may not have unpacked on your own or in previous counseling sessions. I love being able to meet with couples (or sometimes individuals looking to sort through their thoughts in a safe space) in order to offer a structured approach to their intimacy issues. If you are still curious about how sex therapy can help your marriage, I invite you to schedule a consultation call. I look forward to meeting you!

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about the author

Hi, there! I'm Sade. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in North Midtown, Atlanta specializing in couples and sex therapy. I also am the voice behind the My Intimacy Therapist Podcast, and date nights for couples in the Atlanta area.

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