I went through deconstruction in the summer of 2020. So much was going on - both personally and globally - and I found myself distancing from the American Christian church.
And thing is, this wasn't the first time for me. For a while, I've been disappointed (and hurt) by the impacts that colonialism, systemic racism and perfectionism have had on the body of Christ. I just...couldn't quite articulate it until that summer.
But in the emergence and reconstruction from that dark and isolating period, I've come to see the Church as it is: a community of jacked up people who get things wrong. Humans. Family - with that aunt or cousin that just realllyyyy sometimes misses the mark. And I'm sure that I do sometimes, too.
When I talk about hurt, I am not talking about the Person of who Jesus is or what I believe God stands for. I'm talking about what humans have done in His name. There are individuals who identify as followers of Christ that... don't really remind me of Him at all. And this is what I learned to separate: humans' choices are not representative of the Spirit's intention. My concept of who God Is is no longer dictated by the actions of humans.
Spiritual Trauma in Therapy
My truest desire is to embody love. Each day, more and more. And, as a therapist, that embodiment is what I bring into the room. Therapy is supposed to be a safe, non-judgmental place for all of your fears, insecurities, traumas, dark thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations, vulnerabilities... all of it. It's sacred in that way.
And in this vein of belief, I understand that spiritual trauma is something that you likely carry. Someone in a position of authority, speaking under the name of God, has abused their power. Or, perhaps regular, everyday Christians have gossiped, judged, and rejected you. We simply can't ignore that Black, Brown, and LGBTQIA+ communities have a very different history and interaction with the institutional Church than White, heteronormative counterparts.
All this to say... I hope to simply be your therapist. Your neutral zone. Well, not entirely neutral: I will be your cheerleader and encourager. I have a strong bias towards your wellbeing, your relational health, your most intimate Self. Therapy is about you. Not me. Not anyone outside of the room. It is all about you.
If you'd like to mourn, grieve, and heal from the impact of religiosity on your life, let's do it. If you'd very much like to integrate faith and spirituality into your relational health, lead the way! And if you want nothing to do with God, have strong bias against the Christian faith, and have zero desire to be part of that ever again... welcome in. Love and intimacy is what my office is all about.
Welcome in! I'm Sadé!
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and a dating coach for singles impacted by Purity Culture.
If you'd like more intimacy and relationship content, subscribe to the My Intimacy Therapist Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.