Intimacy was great in the beginning.
Phenomenal, even. You were so in sync. Your sex drive was high, strong. Whenever you saw one another, you ached for his intense and focused touch. There was an overall sense of happiness in life; you felt beyond lucky to be enjoying yourself with such a man.
But then something shifted. The relationship entered its fifth year, sixth year - and if you compared things to how they were before, you’d note a drastic difference.
Intimacy didn’t come so easily anymore. For one thing, your drive had taken a dive. You no longer daydreamed of passionate counters while stuck behind your office desk. Your first thought when arriving home wasn’t of rushing into his arms - but rather of the mountain of dishes that needed to be washed, bills that needed to be sorted, laundry that needed to be folded.
“What’s wrong with you?” he’d ask. Most times, the question was steeped in his own exasperation, frustration - and a bit of anger. “Something has to change, because I’m not staying in a relationship like this.”
What else were you supposed to do? Force yourself to want it?
He hated your distracted gaze, and you grew impatient of his prolonged need for your attention. Quite honestly, you would have preferred to get caught up on your new favorite TV drama. But sex is part of the duty, after all. They say it’s supposed to be important for the relationship.
Not this kind of sex, friend. This isn’t the type of intimacy that you want.
What you’re experiencing is a mild (or maybe even moderate) form of disconnection. It could be from yourself, from your partner, or from external factors of life that just have you feeling...bleh. Routine. Bored. Unfulfilled.
Sex doesn’t always have to be passionate and heated. It doesn’t always have to be sweet and intentional. But if the momentum of your intimacy comes to a halt, it will take much more energy to reignite than if you catch it before it stops.
Don’t let it stop. Re-infuse energy into your intimacy. Meet with me for a 50-minute consultation, and we may be able to uncover some of what is impacting your desire. Bring your partner along. Let’s have a constructive, productive conversation.
I have so much more to share with you. Subscribe here to have weekly hope sent directly to your inbox, all related to your intimate life. So much growth is waiting for you.