My Intimacy Therapist is all about intertwining the sexual and spiritual - rejoining them into their original union.
So, let's get straight to the point: what if you are a Christian couple and are curious about the use of intimate toys? Is that okay?
While I can't answer that question for you specifically as a couple, I can say that intention and love are major parts of the decision to integrate toys into your intimate play. Both partners should feel loved, respected, and heard. How do you know if these are happening? Communication is consistent and two-sided. Both partners agree. If any hesitancy shows up, both partners are willing to pause or stop the experience.
Still, it can be a bit daunting trying to figure out where to buy toys. You might be uncomfortable with going into a local store (or, because of your values around sexual expression, you may not be in alignment with everything a certain store sells). And you may also be uncomfortable with doing a blanket Google or Amazon search.
No worries! Here are a few spiritually-infused sights that you might consider exploring with your partner. I've included excerpts from each site with their mission and values, so that you can browse with comfort and security.
The Pure Bed
Who We Are
ThePureBed.com is owned and operated by Bordenz Enterprises. The managing couple, a pastor and wife, have been in ministry for more than 25 years. Shop adult novelties, personal lube, adult games, and more on a clean site (no porn or nudity).
Learn more about their beliefs about sex on the "about us" page here.
Covenant Spice
Can a sex toy be Christian?
We know that sex toys, marital aids, vibrators, or whatever you call them can't in themselves be Christian or not Christian! So what makes us different? Everything we sell has been extensively researched and scrutinized to ensure it is in classy nudity free packaging and designed to be used together by husbands and wives. We also only order from companies with no ties to pornography. The links on our site, the advice, articles, games and more are all offered to draw you closer in your relationship with your spouse and encourage you to be the husband or wife God intended toy to be! Have fun!
Learn more about their No-Nudity policy here.
Married Dance
MarriedDance is a Christian-owned sex shop that’s run by a husband and wife team. We’ve been in business since 2012 and have helped thousands of couples add intimacy to their marriage beds. All of our products are displayed nudity-free with descriptions that are marriage-focused and informative.
“Christian-friendly” doesn’t mean the toys are blessed or anything like that. “Christian-friendly” means all of the items in our store are displayed without nudity or models, and their descriptions are marriage-centered and God-honoring. Most of the product descriptions include a section that suggests a few ways the product can be used to spice things up.
We also do not carry products that are linked to the porn industry, include pornographic images on their packaging, or promote acts that don’t align with Christian values.
Read more about their Christian-friendly environment here.
Remember, the most important thing is that you as a couple are interested! If one of you is unsure or not comfortable with toys or certain kinds of play, then that means it is currently a "no" for your relationship. If you have questions or concerns that you'd like to unpack, consider exploring sex therapy as a safe space for guidance in these conversations!
about the author
sade is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the metro Atlanta area specializing in couples and sex therapy. she also provides supportive dating coaching for singles in the United States and internationally.